Updated June 2022
If you are pregnant and wondering if this unplanned pregnancy is something that you really want, you may be considering your other options and wondering what they are. This pregnancy may be an accident, or perhaps your circumstances have changed over the last few weeks or months, and you no longer feel that a new baby is a good idea. Although you may feel stressed and trapped right now, the good news is, you do have options. Termination may be an idea that you are considering, but if abortion is not an idea that feels good to you, there are several other unplanned pregnancy options that you can consider.
The Father of the Baby Might be a Fit to Parent
When considering through all of your options for this unexpected pregnancy, one option that might come up is the idea of the baby’s father parenting the baby. If you are on good terms with the father of the baby and he knows about the pregnancy and is interested in taking the baby and being a full time dad, perhaps that is an option to consider. Parenting is not always easy, and it us much more than changing diapers and bottle feeding, but if the baby’s father has a safe place to live, and some family or friends that can help him in this journey, he might be a great option to take the baby. If, for whatever reason, the father is not in the picture or is not a safe option to parent the baby, you may still be wondering where you should go form here.
Family Members May Help Raise the Child
One idea to consider if you are pregnant and not ready to be a mom is to think about your family members who might be interested in helping you raise the baby. Perhaps your mom would be willing to have you live with her, and she can help with the baby. Or, maybe you have a sister or cousin, or perhaps a close friend who would like to help you raise the baby. If you are feeling as though this new baby is too much for you to handle right now, and would like to consider options besides abortion, thinking about family members who could help with the baby is a good option.
While considering this idea, you may wonder if help with the baby is what you need, or whether taking care of the baby right now is what you want at all. If you begin to feel that you cannot raise this baby, and you aren’t interested in the baby going to a family member, you might want to begin to consider the idea of adoption.
Adoption May be a Good Option Besides Abortion
If getting an abortion for this unwanted pregnancy is not something that you are interested in for whatever reason, and having family help you take care of the baby is not an option either, you may want to learn more about giving your baby up for adoption. When you first hear the idea of adoption, you may be disinterested, however, once learning more about it, adoption might sound like more of a realistic plan.
First, please know that if you choose to learn more about adoption by contacting Open Arms Adoption network, you will never be pressured into moving forward with this choice. Our counselors will help you process through your thoughts and feeling to figure out what option is the best for you, while never pushing adoption on you.
Also, be mindful of some places that may actually pressure you into a decision that you do not want. For instance, some pregnancy centers might really push you into keeping the pregnancy after you have a positive pregnancy test. Not everyone has your best interest at heart, and we at Open Arms Adoption want to make sure that you get the support and guidance that you need, while never being pressured into one direction.
Your Choices, Your Plan
One reason that making an adoption plan might feel like a good alternative to an abortion, is because with adoption, you have lots of options. You have options regarding the type of adoption you have—open, semi-open or confidential, you have the opportunity to choose the adoptive family you want for your baby, and you can decide the level of support you want along the way. With adoption, you still plan the type of childbirth that you want, as that is your decision. The choice of adoption might be one that you are interested in as you learn more.
In an Open Adoption, you, the Birth Mom get direct contact with your child and the family that adopts him or her, and visit with them multiple times a year. With an Open Adoption, you are able to choose who you feel is the RIGHT family for your baby, and have a relationship with them, not wondering in future years how your child is doing or progressing. You have the option to meet the Adoptive Parents before you decide to move forward with adoption, and then stay in touch with them afterward, so you always know how your child is doing as they grow up. You can expect that your relationship with the Adoptive Family becomes one similar to one of extended family members, if you decide to move forward with an Open Adoption.
You may be wondering what a Semi-Open Adoption is. With this option, you can receive updates from the family on how your baby is doing, but we, Open Arms Adoption will be the go-between with you and the Adoptive Family. With this option, you don’t need to feel ready for a relationship with the family, but you can still ensure that your child is growing up healthy, happy and safe. Many women enjoy this option, especially in the beginning, when the decision feels especially emotional and difficult. In the future, if you decide that you would like to establish a relationship with the family, Open Arms will always be there to help you do that.
In a Closed Adoption, also known as a Confidential Adoption, you will not have contact with the Adoptive Family at all. Sometimes, women tell us that they need a lot of space in the beginning, as having any sort of communication with the family just feels like too much. In this situation, the Adoptive Family wouldn’t receive any information about you, the Birth Mother or the Birth Family at all, unless you prefer that we do give this to them.
The decision regarding the type of adoption you choose is not a permanent one though. While your parental rights will be terminated in the process of adoption, but if you choose a Confidential Adoption because you feel that is best, and then months or years later, you would like some openness in the relationship, we can absolutely help with that. We are here to support you with whatever you choose, and want to make sure that you are able to move forward in whatever way feels best to you.
We Can Help You Explore Your Options
We understand that you are likely feeling incredibly stressed and overwhelmed right now. Our Adoption Counselors can help you work through your emotions and your options and help you through the process, so you can find the best choice for your baby. We are able to help you in person, virtually, or by phone, the choice is yours. We can help you find other support services, should you decide that parenting is what you want, such as support groups or resources that can help you. If you ultimately decide that abortion is the decision that is best for you, we can help you with that as well. The first step is to give us a call, we are here for you 24/7. You can reach us at 1-888-OPENARMS or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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