It used to be that if a woman put her baby up for adoption or was even considering putting her baby up for adoption, would likely be shamed by her friends and family for “taking the easy way out” or for “being selfish”. Fortunately, there is far less stigma around the idea of adoption now and far more understanding for those women who do choose adoption for their babies. We know, at Open Arms Adoption, that women who are considering the option of adoption are usually the most maternal and selfless people around. But, even though the societal stigma is less intense now, you still may have people in your life who you fear will judge you who will put pressure on you to influence you. So, even though your considering giving up your baby for adoption will likely not meet with that societal judgmental opposition it might have twenty years ago, you still might want to keep this decision or even the fact that you are considering adoption – private.
Reasons why some women consider making a confidential or secret adoption plan
One thing you don’t have to worry about is Adoption agencies keep all information about you, your pregnancy and your reasons for considering giving your baby up for adoption confidential. l, So you don’t have to worry about anyone gaining access to your information simply by their calling the adoption agency you are working with. There are many reasons why a woman might decide that it was in her own best interests as well as those of her unborn or recently born baby to maintain a high level of privacy during her pregnancy, and during her time in the hospital delivering her baby.
Ideally, every pregnant woman has a solid support system consisting of family and friends, but all too often, this is not the case. Non-supportive people often cause unwanted conflict in the lives of those dealing with hard decisions and they too often manage to slip onto center stage when a woman needs and deserves to be concentrating on her own best interests and those of her baby. Concerns about abuse, may also be a part of the picture, in which case it may be essential to the birth mother’s safety and even that of the unborn child to keep the adoption plan a secret. Some people also simply need a greater degree of privacy in their personal lives than others, and some birth mothers don’t want to go through months of listening to people who are trying to change their mind about the decision they’ve made or about the options they are considering.
Drawbacks of Secret Adoption Plans
Whatever your reasons for desiring to keep your adoption plan secret, it’s your decision to make. However, you should be aware that many states have mandated laws stating that the birth father must be notified prior to an adoption becoming valid in the eyes of the law. Because substantial differences in these laws exist among different states, it’s important to have the correct information so that you can make an informed decision. The adoption agency you work with will be able to answer all of your questions regarding a birth father’s rights and responsibilities.
You Are in Control of the Adoption Plan
Keep in mind that keeping an adoption plan secret doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. You’re the one in control here, and you’ve got every right to customize your adoption plan in ways that work for you and for the life you want for your unborn baby. If that means telling a few trusted friends or family members while keeping it from the rest of the world, we’re here to support you through that process — just like we’d be here to support you through any other decision that you make.
Please feel free to contact Open Arms Adoption Network for more information on how we can help you come to the best solution that makes you most comfortable.. We don’t treat birth mothers as children needing to be told what to do — we treat you as an adult capable of knowing her own mind. Our hope is to offer support and services designed to promote a positive outcome. Whether you decide in favor of a confidential adoption plan, decide to raise your baby, opt for an open adoption, or something in between, we’re here to help you through it.
